I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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