If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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