Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
