i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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