I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
