cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just high enough for therapy.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
