Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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