I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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