i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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