if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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