After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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