Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
