you have to choose: penises or morals?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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