Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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