i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
As shirtless as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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