return my video game
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
