I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
