I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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