I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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