There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
