I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
