I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This is my gift to your gina
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Panties = found
Randomize
