he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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