Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
