i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
