i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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