what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
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But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
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I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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