dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
