Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?

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  (713): So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue? http://tfl.nu/mqzj
  Replies (10) Good night (1438) Bad night (526)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  38 yer olds are good kisserssss

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  (713): 38 yer olds are good kisserssss http://tfl.nu/i4pg
  Replies (55) Good night (1550) Bad night (2616)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.

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  (515): Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy. http://tfl.nu/x9uw
  Replies (50) Good night (9862) Bad night (2305)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.

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  (504): She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet. http://tfl.nu/znp0
  Replies (48) Good night (10361) Bad night (1074)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.

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  (919): Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar. http://tfl.nu/xoz4
  Replies (3) Good night (2650) Bad night (876)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.

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  (817): I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night. http://tfl.nu/xdj6
  Replies (7) Good night (1358) Bad night (753)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.

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  (603): Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket. http://tfl.nu/e8ax
  Replies (4) Good night (1942) Bad night (577)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  this is the second day in a row.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.

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  (330): I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza. (216): this is the second day in a row. (330): Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then. http://tfl.nu/tsfk
  Replies (6) Good night (2053) Bad night (749)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool

  (210): View more from Texas

  No

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  (512): Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool (210): No http://tfl.nu/m5ry
  Replies (4) Good night (1893) Bad night (497)
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  (415): View more from California

  I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go

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  (415): I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go http://tfl.nu/rt1y
  Replies (7) Good night (406) Bad night (782)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love

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  (720): Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love http://tfl.nu/8heh
  Replies (3) Good night (568) Bad night (796)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche

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  (612): I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche http://tfl.nu/ro2o
  Replies (5) Good night (702) Bad night (368)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.

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  (+64): He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic. http://tfl.nu/imyn
  Replies (9) Good night (1007) Bad night (294)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  That's horrible but hilarious

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm going to miss college.

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  (407): Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else. (1-407): That's horrible but hilarious (407): I'm going to miss college. http://tfl.nu/1mp1
  Replies (4) Good night (486) Bad night (284)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..

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  (215): i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out (1-215): you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night.. http://tfl.nu/3w68
  Replies (4) Good night (270) Bad night (892)

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