If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?