absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.