dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
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Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
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gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.