Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm home now. bring me food and boobies

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  (781): I'm home now. bring me food and boobies http://tfl.nu/wuzk
  Replies (3) Good night (2467) Bad night (618)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night

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  (301): Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night http://tfl.nu/y3ii
  Replies (45) Good night (3601) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.

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  (856): It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle. http://tfl.nu/cqa0
  Replies (4) Good night (1396) Bad night (3098)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.

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  (505): He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued. http://tfl.nu/19hy
  Replies (40) Good night (11171) Bad night (3047)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers

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  (617): i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers http://tfl.nu/ovgd
  Replies (23) Good night (964) Bad night (4679)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch

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  (613): OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch http://tfl.nu/pswe
  Replies (7) Good night (6937) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.

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  (941): its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though. http://tfl.nu/5tqm
  Replies (10) Good night (5182) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.

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  (940): You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata. http://tfl.nu/mqsn
  Replies (3) Good night (3258) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.

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  (519): Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it. http://tfl.nu/tzzv
  Replies (30) Good night (3304) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.

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  (337): After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested. http://tfl.nu/exbc
  Replies (7) Good night (2268) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.

  (1-251): View more from Alabama

  Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.

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  (251): He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested. (1-251): Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling. http://tfl.nu/pby0
  Replies (9) Good night (3147) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.

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  (248): I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set. http://tfl.nu/xzj6
  Replies (6) Good night (1769) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.

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  (414): i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now. http://tfl.nu/jexc
  Replies (6) Good night (1169) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day

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  (623): I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day http://tfl.nu/dbnn
  Replies (6) Good night (358) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field

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  (585): this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field http://tfl.nu/wzry
  Replies (2) Good night (470) Bad night (587)

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