really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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