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• (404): View more from Georgia

  last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl

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• (818): View more from California

  I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...

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• (830): View more from Texas

  You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy

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  Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)

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• (813): View more from Florida

  she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.

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• (619): View more from California

  I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.

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  23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  how don't worse things happen to you?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt

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• (518): View more from New York

  MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?

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• (772): View more from Florida

  So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.

  (1-772): View more from Florida

  That was random, even for you Mom.

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