Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.

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  (301): Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow. http://tfl.nu/rpb6
  Replies (37) Good night (2963) Bad night (4346)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?

  (740): View more from Ohio

  bitches.

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  (614): can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!? (740): bitches. http://tfl.nu/evq4
  Replies (58) Good night (9028) Bad night (1166)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.

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  (847): i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen. http://tfl.nu/1m72
  Replies (47) Good night (11950) Bad night (2591)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas

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  (253): So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas http://tfl.nu/0wvi
  Replies (65) Good night (2136) Bad night (16276)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america

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  (217): So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america http://tfl.nu/rqmz
  Replies (9) Good night (1691) Bad night (2341)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.

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  (262): Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head. http://tfl.nu/w9hs
  Replies (19) Good night (2865) Bad night (771)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!

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  (918): It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore! http://tfl.nu/18ia
  Replies (2) Good night (1396) Bad night (565)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'

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  (361): I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh' http://tfl.nu/gd1h
  Replies (4) Good night (694) Bad night (1411)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .

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  (206): At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks . http://tfl.nu/kxjn
  Replies (1) Good night (529) Bad night (839)
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  (585): View more from New York

  High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.

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  (585): High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation. http://tfl.nu/xkfb
  Replies (0) Good night (881) Bad night (474)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.

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  (973): I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/9z43
  Replies (2) Good night (1202) Bad night (443)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.

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  (440): Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday. http://tfl.nu/90jw
  Replies (4) Good night (477) Bad night (327)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.

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  (780): The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/zubn
  Replies (3) Good night (1567) Bad night (441)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal

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  (617): This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal http://tfl.nu/045y
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (371)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.

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  (717): THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES. (610): HOLY SHIT. You're my hero. http://tfl.nu/mhwg
  Replies (0) Good night (861) Bad night (347)

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