You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
