Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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