so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
