If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
