That's when you crack a 10am beer
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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