I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize