I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize