FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
