Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
