okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
