I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
