I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize