Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
