Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
