So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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