Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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