Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
