Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
