jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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