If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
