I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
