i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
