I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
