I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
