Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
