yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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