Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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