I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
