she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
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He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
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I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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