why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
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We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
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I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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