you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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